Pictures which are posted in magazine are not all true today. With camera equipments and computer software's advance.Therefore, some figure photos are different from the people in reality. It makes a big difference between real men and photos. He or she cuts down celebrity’s head and puts on someone’s body by using Photoshop, a kind of software which can trim pictures.
The saying goes: The camera never lies. I think that this saying is not correct at all today. Due to great progress on computer software, we often look fake celebrity’s pictures which are posted on website by someone. However, those counterfeit pictures are not only annoying those celebrities but also cheating people who love those celebrities. All I want to say is cameras also tell lies now, because I just say that software can make impossibility become possibility. Even though she is an ugly duckling, she also can change into a beautiful swan.
Hi William,
回覆刪除This article is so...red! I almost got blind after reading it.
Anyway, I think you have a decent content here. This journal is also well organizated. The first paragraph serves as a good introduction so that your reader can predict what you are to say later. Good job!
Yet, still I need to point out some mistakes for you to revise so that you can avoid them in your future works.
1. With camera equipments and computer software are more advanced than before. Some figure photos are different from the people in reality.
首先你要知道with加名詞或名詞子句，但你這裏是放句子，所以要改寫
第二、這兩句要合成一句，意思才對
2. It makes a big difference between...and...
好句型
3. He or she cuts down celebrity’s head and puts on someone’s body by using Photoshop, a kind of software which can trim pictures.
第一、a kind of software which can trim pictures文法用得很好
第二、puts on someone's body要寫出放什麼在someone's body
3. The saying goes: The camera never lies. I think that this saying is not correct at all today.
好句子
4.Due to making great progress on computer software,
請把making拿掉
5. However, those counterfeit pictures are not only annoying those celebrities but also cheating people who love those celebrities.
好句子
6. All I want to say is camera also tells the lies now.
第一、camera是可數名詞，請revise it
第二、為什麼加定詞在lies前?
7. I just say that software can make impossibility become possibility.
這一句接上句不是很順，改一下
8. Even though she is an ugly duckling, she also can change into a beautiful swan.
這個she是who? 用法不對
或者你可以把這兩個子句改成一個用Even頭的簡單句，想一下。
Checked!
回覆刪除