Some universities complement labor education. What is labor education? It means a work that freshmen need to do every day for beautifying campus. Most freshmen don’t like it, because they think that it occupies a lot of time to do something they want. Moreover, getting up early is a terrible nightmare if they draw morning shift. Also, it is so tired that they cannot bear it.
But I don’t think it is a trouble for me. Labor education still has many virtues, it is not completely bad. I consider that it is a good way to learn how to do cleaning correctly.
Maybe cleaning a restroom annoys most freshmen. To me, it is valuable because I can use tips which I learn from labor education to clean my family’s restroom neatly.
Cooperating with others is a important thing that I also must learn. I need to know how to get along with my co-worker when I am starting my work career in the near future.
I meet people from other departments when I do labor education. It would be beneficial to expand relation with others. It is useful for business to enlarge clients.
In short, I really approve of practicing labor education because I learn many things from it. Dare I say, it is also a good policy for freshmen to be familiar with campus.
It is cool that you have different opinion. keep working. :)
回覆刪除Gerda, thank you for coming my blog.
回覆刪除ya, you know, i am a "special" man.
ha ha:)
Hi 威廉,
回覆刪除As Gerda said, you indeed have come up with different thoughts from others'. That's really good. Also, I am happy to see you use 比較不同的單字. 很好
而這一篇的文章組織也很好。有一點五段式論文的味道
Still, 有些小mistakes請你改一下:
1. Some universities complement labor education.
用字遣詞用得好,
2.It means a work that freshmen need to do every day for beautifying campus.
用beautifying啊...這是labor education的意圖嗎?
3. Most freshmen don’t like it, because they think that it occupies a lot of time which they do something they want.
恩這裡我明白...it occupies a lot of time which they do something they want. 但是...以文法結構跟意思來看的話...
4. Getting up early is a terrible nightmare if they draw morning shift.
前頭需要有linking word/phrase不然跟上文不甚連貫
5. Also, it is very tired that they cannot bear it.
請改tired為tiring
改very為so
6.
But I don’t think so.
你的I don't think so. 太簡短了喔, 不要自己演內心戲, 這樣讀者看戲會覺得這個linking sentence沒有讓上下很連貫
7. It still has many virtues, not it is completely bad.
因為你的labor education以太遠了，中間又插了那麼多的字，所以把labor education再點明出來比用It來得更清楚。
第二、not it is completely bad是什麼高深的文法嗎? 我沒看過耶
8. I consider that it is a good way to learn how to do cleaning correctly.
把a good way改成a good chance會不會更符合你想說的?
9.Maybe cleaning restroom is annoying most freshmen.
可數名詞restroom處理一下吧
第二、為什麼要用is annoying的時態?
10 To me, it is valuable to me because I can use tips which I learn from labor education to clean my family’s restroom neatly.
第一你重覆了to me
第二這是非常正向的想法 (although I don't really think you honestly believe so...哈)
11. Cooperating with partner is important thing that I also must learn.
用cooperating with 'others'比 partner好
第二thing式可數名詞、處理一下
12. I meet people from other department when I doing labor education.
department是可數名詞
doing為什麼+ing?
13. In short, I very approve of practicing labor education because I learn many things from it.
請 use 'really' to replace very
14. Dare I say, it is a good policy for freshmen to be familiar with campus.
用 it is 'also' a good...
William, 寫得很好! Good work
第三點關於你這句:it occupies a lot of time which they do something they want...
回覆刪除我尚未說完，你可以改寫成either of the following sentences:
你可以改寫成: it takes up a lot of the students' time, so they won't have time to goof off.
或 it occupies a lot of students' time during which they could have done what they wanted. (這個較保留你原來的句型)